Coping with pet loss.

A pet is often far more than a life to feed and care for. They can become a companion, a friend, and for those who have working pets, also a co-worker. There are times when the world feels overwhelming and stressful. Coming home to a pet who somehow communicates to us, ‘it will all be ok’ offers us a source of love and joy.

My cat Charlie had a unique way of having his belly on show as I walked in the door each night. He communicated that my stress levels would lower by paying him attention. I would submit to Charlie’s not-so-subtle command, and would be rewarded with a purr loud enough to impress a lion, and lowered stress levels. Warm memories of fun times and companionship brings me comfort as I grieve his death.

Pet loss can occur from death, leaving the family home or a relationship. In fact, any separation with a pet we care for may produce feelings of grief. Unfortunately pet loss and its associated grief is not commonly acknowledged. This type of unrecognised grief is named ‘disenfranchised grief’ and may cause us to feel that our grief is not worthy of strong feelings. Is this happening to you? Let me tell you friend, your grief matters, and it is valid.   

Grief is an individual experience. Factors that deepen your grief may include the emotional bond you had with your pet, and the quality of support in your life. Added to this, you may feel guilt or shame that you could not afford costly vet bills to prolong your pets life.

Recognising your feelings of grief and loss is painful, but may be the starting place to healing. Find a supportive person, maybe a friend or counsellor. Your Doctor or local Council may know of support services in your area. Some people volunteer at their local animal shelter. While you may not feel ready to adopt another pet, you may feel comforted by quality time with one of the many animals in need of healthy human interaction. Allow happy memories of your pet to bring comfort. Maybe when the time is right, another fur-child may enter your heart.