Is Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow’ an anthem for separated parents?
Is Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow” a potential anthem for separated parents of faith and those interested in faith? Separated parents may have heard of the band Fleetwood Mac. They have experienced a renaissance in recent times, and the passing of band member Christine McVie in November 2022 put them back into the spotlight. ‘Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow’ was released in 1977 on the Rumours album which has become one of the highest selling albums of all time. Four of the five band members chronicle stories about their ex-partners who remained in the band touring together and singing about their relationship breakdown’s. One hit song referred to an affair with one of the support crew. Christine McVie revealed one song she wrote was at least partially about the relationship breakdown with husband and bandmate John McVie, and another song referenced her affair with the band’s lighting director. It made for great music, with much drama on and off the stage.
Despite its history the song is upbeat, cheery and was incredibly popular. The song begins;
If you wake up and don't want to smile
If it takes just a little while
Open your eyes and look at the day
You'll see things in a different way
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be better than before
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone
So to what extent does is this cheery, upbeat ballad a potential anthem for separated parents of faith (or those interested in faith)?
1. Attitude matters
There is no doubt that attitude does matter. Dr Ken Williams and Gaylan Williams highlight in their insightful book: “All Stressed up and everywhere to go” that our attitude towards God, ourselves and the situation can make a significant difference to the level of internal stress we carry. We also see many examples of attitude in the Bible, with Philippians 4:6-7 ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus’.
2. Choosing to think about tomorrow can have a positive effect
Thinking about tomorrow, rather than focusing on the past which we cannot change, can positively affect our mental health and outlook. We cannot change the past, but we can influence tomorrow. Best Life Counselling uses at times a picture of a sunrise in our promotional work and webinars, as sunrise depicts a new day with the potential for hope, and healing change.
3. The song captures something of the redemption of faith
“If your life was bad to you, just think what tomorrow will do”. The story of faith is a story of hope. The focus is not on what we have done, rather the focus is on next steps, healing, forgiveness and grace.
4. As separated parents of faith there is a good reason not to live in regret
As separated parents of faith, we may well have regrets about the past, things we would have done differently if we could have our time over again. Living in regret can overshadow the fact that if our life had not played out as it did, then we would not have our child(ren). This is a compelling reason to not remain grieving for a past we cannot change, but to savour the love, joy and hope in our current life.
Ways in which the song falls short
If the above points are so compelling, why don’t’ we just buy the song or find another upbeat song and focus on that? There are many ways in which these songs fall short of a positive life outlook.
1. We need more than just a positive attitude, there needs to be substance in hope
Attitude is important as outlined above, however there needs to be substance in hope. As people of faith, why can we be confident for the future? Choose to be confident is a small part, additionally we have substance in hope because we believe in redemption, faith, hope and love. We believe in a relationship with God that transcends our own human understanding, and we believe that even if things look bleak at times, there will be a way forward.
2. We understand the nuance of hope
The song asks us to; “Open your eyes and look at the day, you'll see things in a different way”. The reality is that we may or may not see things in a different way by opening our eyes and looking at the day. And what if we don’t? Faith invites us to look at things in a wider and more substantial way, because we are not an island that is isolated and alone. We are part of God’s bigger purpose, plan, we have supernatural help and perspective, and resources available to help us. We have substance to the hope.
3. The management of expectations are crucial
The song proclaims, “Don't stop, it'll soon be here, it'll be better than before”. Really? On what basis can we say this? Faith does not promise circumstances will be better, it does promise that we can draw on the spiritual resources of God and the support of others to sustain us as we face difficult circumstances. In fact, Dr Ken Williams and Gaylan Williams highlight in “All Stressed up and everywhere to go” that the management of our expectations towards God, others, the situation and ourselves are crucial in managing internal stress. If we expect things are ‘going to be better than before”, we may well be disappointed and this can greatly add to our stress. If we adjust our expectations to, though we don’t know what will come our way, we can increase our capacity to admit and manage it, we are on much more solid ground.
4. The song misses a key point, insight from the past to take into the future
One of the reasons we can be confident for the future is that we can gain insight from the past. What did we learn from our past relationship? What might we do differently? What can we learn from the circumstances we find ourself in currently? What potential ways forward are there.?
As Jane (not her real name) was thinking about her second marriage to be held the next day, thoughts flashed into her mind about “what if this one doesn’t work out?” As Jane processed this further, she realised that she had done a lot of reflection and that she had worked through a lot of things. She was taking much improved insight into the future. This gave Jane much comfort.
One of the things that distinguishes as human beings is our capacity to reflect and gain insight. We explore this topic in our poem “With insight there is hope”.
5. The song misses out on the key principles of ethics; grace, forgiveness and love
The members of Fleetwood Mac made a pragmatic decision, if the song will resonate with people and make lots of money, then we will proceed. The Rumours album became a platform for this, and a very successful one at that. In another song written by Lindsey Buckingham about his break-up with Stevie Nicks, Nicks noted to Rolling Stone magazine; "I very much resented him telling the world that 'packing up, shacking up' with different men was all I wanted to do. He knew it wasn't true. It was just an angry thing that he said. Every time those words would come onstage, I wanted to go over and kill him. He knew it, so he really pushed my buttons through that. It was like, 'I'll make you suffer for leaving me’. And I did."
As people of faith, we are challenged about the other. We are not only aware of what will be for our good, but also what about the other. Is it right? Is it grace filled? It is in line with my values and beliefs? Where do forgiveness and love (Agape love) come into the picture? These are uncomfortable questions, however questions that can create a different outlook if we choose to face up to them.
6. The song misses the point that sadness, and acknowledgement of the sad times can be healing
The song concludes with, “Don't you look back” repeated over and over. Is there any point in facing up to sadness? In the Old Testament book of Job, Job had friends who didn’t want him to be sad. Job eventually found his peace with God and himself, wisely recognising that sadness is part of the journey.
John (not his real name) was sad about his relationship break-down. Months after the separation on what would have been his wedding anniversary, John wanted to go to his favourite beach nearby and think about his loss. His family and friends were concerned about this not being a good idea for John. They wanted him to come over to their place and talk about happy things. John was determined to go to the beach. He wasn’t there very long, he acknowledged his sadness in a way that was meaningful for him, then contacted the concerned family/friends when he felt ready to talk about happy things.
Pixar movie ‘Inside Out’ depicts the emotions of young girl Riley as: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger. Joy acts as the leader, and she and the rest of the emotions try to limit sadness's influence. Riley wisely came to realise, like Job and John, that sadness is part of our journey toward healing and wholeness.
Conclusion
The song ‘Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow’ won’t be the last upbeat and positive song that people will greatly appreciate. We can have fun with these songs and enjoy them for what they are. However as far as anthems for separated parents of faith and those interested in faith, the story is a lot deeper and nuanced.